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Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence, by Amy Alkon
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Review
Praise for Unf*ckology:“Amy Alkon does a wonderful job of explaining how to not only change what you do, but more importantly, how you think. By rooting her advice in science―and in her own hilarious experiences―she shows you how to get out of your own way and become your best self.†―Charles Duhigg, author of bestselling The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better“Amy Alkon is a virtuoso at making science accessible and fun. In this fast-paced, deeply authentic “science-help†book, Alkon weaves her own dramatic transformation with the latest science to show you how to live the life you truly want to live. It’s time to stop pitying yourself, devaluing yourself, hiding yourself, and all the other things we do to ourselves to avoid being our full selves. You can be comfortable in your own skin RIGHT NOW. This book will show you how.â€â€•Scott Barry Kaufman, Professor of Positive Psychology, University of Pennsylvania, author of Ungifted: Intelligence Redefined and Wired To Create“Unf*ckology is smart, sassy, and absolutely hilarious (Amy Alkon curses like a great poet). But don’t let the LOL-moments fool you. Unf*ckology is also a rigorously scientific big-hearted attempt to kill the fear that gnaws our lives to the bone. This is a powerful manifesto for living brave.â€â€•Jonathan Gottschall, Distinguished Fellow, Washington & Jefferson College; author of The Storytelling Animal and The Professor in the Cage“Amy Alkon is every bit as original, fierce and science-backed as you'd expect in a book titled Unf*ckology. Alkon invented the science-help genre, and this book finds her at the height of her powers. Alkon tackles interpersonal and intrapsychic problems with a voice as sui generis as the problems are universal. It's a master class in making important life changes taught by your hilarious best friend, the one who is as funny as she is smart, and whose radical honesty about her own shortcomings makes her thoroughly unfuckwithable.†―Kaja Perina, Editor in Chief of Psychology Today“Advice on how to change behavior should be grounded in the science of behavior, but it rarely is. Don’t let the name fool you: Unf*ckology may speak with a potty mouth, but it cites journals and textbooks to bring a nuanced take on cognitive neuroscience and human evolution to the problems of everyday life.â€â€•Christopher Chabris, Assoc. Professor of Psychology, Union College; co-author of The Invisible Gorilla“If what you want the most is a swift kick in the ass strong enough to send you in the direction of your dreams, Amy Alkon is just the brash, hilarious ass-kicker you’ve been searching for.â€â€•Heather Havrilesky, “Ask Polly†columnist and author of the best-selling How to Be a Person in the World“In Unf*ckology, your fears are named and tamed, your hopes uncovered and empowered in a dazzling collection of science-based insights, with enough twisted humor to render your brain helpless to resist. The section on managing willpower alone is life-changing.â€â€•Terry Rossio, screenwriter, Shrek; Academy Award nominee for Best Adapted Screenplay“Amy Alkon’s guide to having courage, confidence, and self esteem could not come at a more propitious time. As more and more colleges turn out spineless snowflakes offended by hand gestures and adjectives, enabled as they are by equally invertebrate faculty and administrators, and major corporations take disciplinary actions against employees who dare to challenge the PC orthodoxy that everyone is equally qualified for every job, we need a major corrective toward a proper understanding of human nature grounded in science, not in postmodernism’s dogma that all ideas are equally true. Unf*ckology should be assigned to all students as the textbook for the new science―‘growing a spine’―and taking personal responsibility for your life.â€â€•Michael Shermer, Presidential Fellow Chapman University, author of Heavens on Earth“You have never read a book like this in your life. Amy Alkon is as funny and as wildly inventive as Dave Barry or PG Wodehouse. Yet she has created what she calls "a science help" book. A book riddled with fascinating research from psychology and neurobiology. A book that shows you and me how to use the results of that psychology in our own lives. And something more. Very few scientists these days are coming up with ideas that pull together the results of wildly diverse disciplines into a new big picture. Very few of today's thinkers give us big ideas. By showing us how to use research on fields like embodiment to change our lives, Amy Alkon has given us two things: new big ideas; and balls-to-the wall hilarity. Let's put that in different words. Unf*ckology is one of the most delightful books you will read in this lifetime. And Amy Alkon has established herself with this book as THE top practitioner of applied science.†―Howard Bloom, author of The Lucifer Principle and How I Accidentally Started the Sixties“Amy Alkon is such a festive cocktail of funny and brainy! Unf*ckology is hilarious, wise and amazingly useful ‘science-help’ for the meek to finally get going on inheriting the earth.â€â€•Sandra Tsing Loh, host of the syndicated public radio show, The Loh Down On Science; author of The Madwoman in the Volvo“In this (very funny) book, Amy Alkon explains how not to be a loser. Being socially anxious and desperate isn't fun. And Amy shows you the science behind self-transformation. No short-cuts or thinking your way out―just incremental and targeted action. I found myself nodding throughout because I used a lot of these strategies myself as a socially anxious young person trying to move into an academic career that demanded a great deal of public speaking and interpersonal relationship building. And I appreciated Amy's humor as well―taking life too seriously makes changing that much harder.â€â€•W. Keith Campbell, Professor of Psychology, University of Georgia, co-author of The Narcissism Epidemic“Unf*ckology is a f*cking good book. The self-help book for people who hate self-help books, Unf*ckology is firmly grounded in empirical research and takes a no-nonsense, no-coddling, no-airy-fairy-BS approach to the subject. It’s also very funny. Every page sparkles with Amy’s irreverent wit and wisdom. Highly recommended!†―Dr. Steve Stewart-Williams, Assoc. Professor of Psychology, University of NottinghamPraise for Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck:“Alkon not only tells readers what good manners are but also provides useful suggestions for politely calling offenders' attention to their rudeness. And she does this in a ferociously funny style--it's worth a read for the laughs alone. There is nothing here of the proper arrangement of table setting, nor of how to address a letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury; rather Alkon deals with modern problems in interpersonal relationships, such as how civilized people should act when standing in lines, on airplanes, online, and elsewhere.†―Library Journal (starred review)“This book is a gem. Hysterically funny and grounded in science, Amy Alkon explains why so many people are rude and how it's possible to be courteous, even if you're foul-mouthed and clueless about etiquette.†―Dr. Adam Grant, Wharton School professor and New York Times-bestselling author of Give and Take“I can say without reservation that Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck is hilarious, consistently entertaining, and, above all, wise. It's Emily Post as a beach read.†―Charlotte Allen, The Weekly Standard“She is chatty, at times outrageous, but full of ideas about living politely in a society that she says has become too big for our brains to handle. As for Oscar Wilde, at the end of his life is said to have commented: ‘The world was my oyster, but I used the wrong fork.'†―Moira Hodgson, The Wall Street Journal“If you're frequently left gasping by the jaw-dropping social ineptitude of your fellow human beings, or you're guilty of being a rude jackass yourself from time to time, this is the book for you. Alkon doesn't suffer fools lightly, but she also has the gentle wisdom to know that each of us plays the role of the fool sometimes. Armed with fascinating science, great humor, and a preternatural bullshit detector for a mind, she shoots from the hip – and you'll be damn glad she does, too.†―Dr. Jesse Bering, Associate Professor of Science Communication and author of Perv“Contradiction is part of what makes Ms. Alkon so captivating. Perhaps the biggest contradiction: The hisser can also be utterly lovely.†―Brooks Barnes, The New York Times“Although the subject matter should be enough to hold your attention, it is primarily Amy's ability to turn a phrase that makes the book such a good ride. Her section headings (e.g., 'Dating is War,' 'Murder-Suicide and Other Forms of Diplomacy,' 'The Tragedy of the Asshole in the Commons') make it impossible to put the book down and get back to work without reading just one more section. I highly recommend this book.†―Dr. Frank McAndrew, Evolutionary Psychology journal“In this comprehensive, science-based, easy-to-read, and hilarious book, Alkon looks at where our rudeness comes from and provides tangible ways for all of us to deal with it.†―Dr. Jennifer Verdolin, Psychology Today“One of '11 Smart Books You Should Read This Summer'†―Sam McNerney, 250Words.com“This crazy redhead is on to something. Her pink Rambler story alone is worth the price of the book.†―Elmore Leonard on I See Rude People“Amy Alkon is intellectually promiscuous―and funny as hell.†―Howard Bloom, paleopsychologist and author of The Lucifer Principle, on I See Rude People“Seriously great book. Alkon is smart and savvy and funny as hell. Where Hannibal the Cannibal only ate the rude, Alkon stands up to them with the sort of glorious panache that sometimes makes you want to stand and cheer.†―David Middleton, January Magazine on I See Rude People“Alkon turns reporting on findings in evolutionary psychology into an art form. She scans the research horizon for fascinating new results. Though relentless in her skepticism, she is keenly attuned to findings that are both solid and suggestive. (The world lost a great analyst when Alkon turned away from academic research.) In her hands, all this research turns into practical advice for how ordinary people can live better lives. Alkon may be, as the LA Weekly put it, 'Miss Manners With Fangs,' but she is perhaps better characterized as the offspring of Charles Darwin and Dorothy Parker. We academics can all take a lesson from her ability to redefine academic turf in terms 'the ordinary person' can both understand and enjoy.†―Dr. Barbara Oakley, Oakland University
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About the Author
AMY ALKON does "applied behavioral science," translating scientific research into highly practical advice. Alkon writes The Science Advice Goddess, an award-winning, syndicated column that runs in newspapers across the United States and Canada. She is also the author of Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck and I See Rude People. She has been on Good Morning America, The Today Show, NPR, CNN, MTV, and does a weekly science podcast. She has written for Psychology Today, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times Magazine, the New York Daily News, among others, and has given a TED talk. She is the President of the Applied Evolutionary Psychology Society. She lives in Venice, California.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (January 23, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 125008086X
ISBN-13: 978-1250080868
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
95 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#78,589 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This is a genuinely helpful, interesting, entertaining, and powerful book. I'm re-reading it for the second time, mostly because I ENJOYED it so much the first time that I didn't take all the notes I needed to take. Non-fiction that you can't put down? Yes. Seriously.This book will challenge and inspire you to change in the ways you want to change, and it does so with humor, grace, and genuine insight.Spring break is over and I am not cowering in my room, dreading the return to a world filled with people. My geeky introvert self is actually eager to get back out into the world and make progress on achieving what I want.Side note--one of my college majors is psychology, and I was amazed at how precisely correct the author gets the science. Science majors get used to gritting our teeth when we hear people mangle our fields. My jaw never clenched once--she got it all right, to the best of my understanding as someone with a high GPA in my major. Important studies that have come up in different classes are cited and interpreted correctly, and even better--she pointed out really beautiful, creative ways to apply it. (Imagine an art book that doesn't just show you the world's masterpieces, it gives you immediately applicable hints as to how you can draw/paint/sculpt like that, too.)
Alkon has done a great service for the world in publishing this book. She uses her own (sometimes agonizing) life experience as a doormat to illustrate how she turned everything around. For those who want to understand why her approach works, Alkon provides ample scientific evidence from legitimate sources. Even if you're not a doormat, this book gives a great, easy to understand explanation of neuroplasticity and how we can override our hardwired tendencies to build healthy new habits and reach our full potential. Bonus: It's often a laugh-out-loud funny read.
I literally (and, yes, I’m using the word correctly!) just finished reading Amy Alkon’s latest book, “Unfuckogy,†and I loved it. I’m not usually a self-help book person, but when I heard her speak at the Festival of Books at USC this spring, I knew it was something I had to read. She was so entertaining and hilarious on the panel and reading her book was like having a private conversation with her. I love how she provids the research and the step-by-step guidelines to achieving actual change in our lives. I’m not someone who has a hard time standing up for myself, but I still found plenty of excellent information and insights for dealing with other issues.I’ve been recommending this book and singing its praises to everyone I know. I was especially impressed by the fact that she doesn’t just talk the talk, but actually walks the walk. She uses humor and scientifically-backed research to support her ideas and claims. This book was life-changing and I highly recommend it to anyone who is the least bit interested in learning more about why we do what we do, based on research and science, as well as having a step-by-step guide for making long-lasting changes in your life!
This book is funny, and encouraging.For those of us that don't stand up for ourselves.Amy gives us the tools to do a better job.
Read Amy Alkon in Psychology Today. Searched and found her book. (Btw, she answers reader’s messages.) I love science-based books about why humans do and think as we do. I love humorous books. This is both! This is the first intelligent book that actually made me laugh out loud. Several times, my wife asked, “What’so funny?†I know several people who should read this book. I may buy a case to give away. Having read this book, I believe we can all be the person we want to be.
If you want a book that will help you outsmart yourself and get out of your own way so you can get things done and have more satisfying experiences, Unfuckology is the book to read. Unfuckology is full of information on what to do to become the person you want to become, advice that is backed up with clear explanations about how human beings are designed. I'm halfway through the book and already find myself taking what I've learned and using it to create solutions for myself where I've been stuck, and frustrated with watching myself be stuck. The information about what works and what doesn't work, and why, helps me create new solutions where the book's advice leaves off.
This is an excellent book. Peppered with personal anectdotes and backed by hard science, this book covers the subject of self empowerment in a humourous, self-depricating manner. The author lobs random expletives and adult themes into the narrative which lightens the mood around an intense subject. The tricks in this book should help anyone to identify negative behaviors and help to iron them out. Even though the book is geared to help those that have issues standing up for themselves, the techniques and science displayed here will be helpful to anyone who has an interest in the human mind and how we behave. Buy it, it's a fun read!
I was totally enthralled at the ease with which Amy communicates extremely complex subject matter with lucid coherence and exposition. As Einstein recommended, “If You Can't Explain it to a Six Year Old, You Don't Understand it Yourself.†Amy certainly excels in this regard and many others.I feel also that your views are in synch with neuroscientist Joseph Ledoux when he distinguishes between the non conscious fear response to an aversive stimuli and the conscious manifestation of fear as an emotion.I found her reference to the concept “embedded cognition†to be extremely enlightening:“Recognizing that the body is often a part of cognition—of thinking—is essential to the formation of the new you.â€Expect to be intellectually stimulated and challenged but also expect to laugh; laugh a great deal! Not only is Amy a highly talented and knowledgeable scientist, she demonstrates exceptional comedic wit and insight.I consider this book to be a formidable addition to what I refer to as my Hall of Fame.
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